I grew up in a body of constant beating to become
i told myself maybe some day i’ll be pretty, maybe someday i’ll be desired
my reflection mutilated always.
I hurt my body trying to become
I’m tired of trying so I let myself be
I learn to love my mutant
rejoice in the sticky juices
of my monstrous existence
and celebrate my body.
Trascending the layers put upon my body is scary
i grew safe knowing
told what my body is
i know nothing
it’s scary to admit this
i learned validation comes through knowledge
i learned all these things about my body i can’t feel
i learned to be afraid of my body
to be afraid of feeling in my body
afraid of learning my body through feeling
slowly i’m unlearning
walking with my fears
trying to peel my layers
when I’m naked
my skin to skin
my fat
my stretch marks
my scars
my breath
I am
i can’t be erased
i can’t take up less space
I don’t want to
I want to be completely vulnerable because I’m unafraid
I want to caress my deepest self
so we can breathe each other
for a moment
no fear of being seen wrong
tender body and raw feelings