Brandin J. Alvarez (Ting)
Preferred pronouns:
No preferred pronoun
Self-identification: Pansexual, gender neutral (Bayoguin)
I would firstly like to thank the amazing photographer that took these very vulnerable photos of me. I had never thought about it up until this point - the ideas I had surrounding self-image, and the opinions I had about myself. I wouldn’t say I blocked out bad memories so much as I normalized events in my life that I now know were toxic. Growing up I was very thin. And as I grew up and made my way into adulthood that body followed me. I have always had a hard time gaining weight and through the actions of others I was often reminded of this. As I got older it became easier to do so but I guess my perception of self has always been complicated. I was never really, happy with my body. I was either to skinny or to heavy. I’m now almost 30 and while I could bore you with my life story as to how I got to this point I won’t. I’ll leave you with this instead. It has taken me the span of almost 17 years to figure out how to appreciate who I am and where I stand in life. My experiences in life may not mirror that of another, but what I can tell you is that learning to appreciate yourself, how you identify as a person, and how to create more positive behaviors, starts with having support that is healthy and positive. We cannot learn without example so for someone to tell us to “love ourselves” and “appreciate our lives” are merely empty phrases that become toxic unless those same people can show us what that means. With that said we are not merely students – we are humans just like anyone else. In loving us unconditionally we can learn to do the same. I have LEARNED how to appreciate this body, this mind, and this soul, over the course of years and I’m still learning what it means to be comfortable with me, my body, and who I am as a person. Growth doesn’t stop for me. It will continue to be fostered within me and others. The idea that WE ALL are these amazing sentient beings.